What You Want
by silbecoo
Summary: Haley begins to really grow up, and figure out what it is she really wants for herself, what it is that she deserves. (Haley/Andy; started just after PSSH aired)


**A/N: I've always liked Haley and Andy together, in spite of the weirdness of the last episode and I started this thing right after PSSH aired. Please let me know what you think if you read it. Feedback is always encouraging to me.**

Was it ironic that the first piece of mail Haley had received at her new apartment was his wedding invitation? She couldn't say. She'd never been entirely certain what was and wasn't ironic. Alannis had certainly complicated her understanding of the word. She could text Alex and ask her, but she didn't want her sister to know how thin the shell of her confidence was.

She dropped the expensive cardstock to her kitchen table. It didn't flutter, but dropped like a rock to the polished surface, Andy and Beth's smiling faces staring back up at her. She squinted for a moment, trying to figure out if Andy's smile was real.

She gave up, smoothing her features back in defense against future wrinkles. She dumped her now cold coffee into the sink, rinsing the cup before sitting it gently in the strainer. She'd surprised herself in the past couple weeks with the pleasure she took in having everything around her just so. It was her apartment, her things, her home. For the first time in her life she'd begun to take ownership of the space around her.

Alex probably would have said her messiness at home was some kind of rebellion against their (lovingly) controlling mother. Alex probably would have been right, certified genius and all. Haley's lips twitched up in a half smile, momentarily forgetting her morose mood. Snatching her poncho from the coat hook, she darted out the front door.

Things had moved so fast for her once she decided to go forward with her life. She sent out job applications to every major (and not so major) fashion house in the city, posting mid season collection reviews on her blog in her spare time. She was happy, in a way, content to be doing something even if she hadn't gotten any calls from the places she'd sent her résumé. But then she'd gotten an email from an eager production assistant for a television show she'd never heard of. The girl had gushed over Haley's blog, calling her a fashion savvy future trend setter.

The job was nothing special, it paid peanuts and she worked her fingers to the bone compiling look books for the various characters on the show, and then going out to acquire pieces for the costumer, but it was a start, and there were advantages to having a dad who worked in real estate. He'd found her an affordable, if tiny, apartment in the city near where she worked. For the first time in her life she felt like an adult.

Most mornings she was happy as she drove to work, singing along to Kesha and bouncing in her seat as people honked at her. Most mornings she didn't have to look her biggest regret right in its smiling face as she drank her sugar laced coffee.

When she pulled into the studio lot, flashing her I.D. badge at the snoozing security guard, her mouth was pulled down into a deep frown, a sight most people in this place had never seen. Haley didn't notice the secretary waving frantically at her as she walked by.

She stepped into her windowless shoebox of an office (one that she shared with two other girls) and plopped her bag down in the floor. She looked forward to immersing herself in her work. Anything to take her mind off the gentle ache in the middle of her chest, the softly persistent urge to cry hovering on the edge of her consciousness.

Before she even had a chance to open her laptop, an out of breath secretary was in the doorway, exasperation seeping from her very pores.

"Good morning, Denise."

"Oh my god, Haley, have you gone deaf? I've been trying to flag you down since I saw you walk in."

"Sorry, I'm a little… preoccupied this morning."

Denise rolled her eyes dramatically, falsies fluttering cartoonishly as she huffed out an irritated sigh. She flapped a piece of paper in Haley's direction. "Romero wants you to go pickup a costume rental and you have to do it now. It's for the first shoot today at noon."

Haley nodded, taking the paper from Denise wordlessly. The address was a boutique on the other side of town. Her breath caught when she realized exactly where it was. It was beside Andy's favorite coffee shop, the place that drew little woodland creatures in the foam of its lattes and put peppermint sticks in its hot chocolate.

Denise snapped her fingers rudely, drawing Haley out of her thoughts. "Well, what are you waiting for? With traffic you'll be lucky to make it back in time."

Eyes wide, she nodded mutely again, inspiring yet another exaggerated eye roll from Denise. The secretary stomped off, muttering about wrangling 'fashionista airheads.' Haley didn't have the energy to take issue with her comments.

* * *

She parked on the street opposite from the boutique, dark Jacki-O sunglasses covering half of her face. She felt like a spy in one of the lame black and white movies Alex liked. All she was missing was a chic little trench coat and beretta tucked into her pocket.

She scuttled across the street, jerking her head back and forth before making a beeline for the front door of the boutique. And she would have made it too, if the heel of her right shoe hadn't gotten stuck in a metal grate. She pitched forward onto the sidewalk, throwing her hands out to break her fall.

She hissed, the concrete scraping the sensitive flesh of her palms, her knees taking the brunt of the collision. "Shit!"

"Haley?"

 _Shit shit shit!_ Andy was staring down at her, worry written all over his face as he leaned down to help her up. He took her hand at first, but quickly let go when she gasped in pain, choosing instead to gently lift her under the arms.

"Are you alright?"

He had her upright in a matter of seconds, hands awkwardly tucked underneath her arms, gripping her gently. She was ticklish, and she couldn't help the tinkling laugh that bubbled up to the surface, giddiness sweeping over her. Andy stilled, afraid to let her go in the face of such odd behavior. His grip tightened, the concern clear on his face as he shifted closer to her. It was like a one sided hug, and Haley's cheeks flushed with embarrassment when she realized she was staring at him. He was waiting for her to answer him so he could let her go.

"Oh, yeah totally fine." She stepped away from him, forgetting for a moment about her injured hands as she tried to dust her jeans off. Sucking in sharply, she cursed, "Dammit!"

Before she could stop him, Andy was cradling her hands in his own, peering down at the tender skin. "I have a first aid kit in my car."

She let him pull her along for a moment, speechless. It had been so long since she'd seen him, months really, difficult months. Before the awkwardness began he'd basically been her best friend, the first person she wanted to call when she got good news. He always made her feel like she deserved good things.

Her throat tightened as they approached his car, and she began to withdraw. "Look Andy, I don't have much time, and-"

He cut her off, ducking into his trunk as he called out behind him. "This'll only take a minute. You don't want to get an infection do you?"

She blinked, looking at her palms. They were scraped, sure, but she done more damage falling off her bike when she was a kid. Whatever protest she had died on her lips when he popped back up, slightly red faced and way too proud of himself. An involuntary snort of laughter escaped her. "You would have a first aid kit in your car."

"You don't?" He shook his head. "Always be prepared, Haley."

"Of course you were a Boy Scout."

She watched him closely as he cleaned her scratches with an alcohol wipe, wincing silently. He noticed her discomfort and blew gently to dry the disinfectant. Haley shivered, wisps of air curling up her arms as his fingers gently probed her skin.

Andy turned away, tucking his supplies back in their box. "Ah, well… actually no. My mom thought the Boy Scouts were too dangerous, but she did get me their guide book for my tenth birthday."

Task complete, awkwardness settled back over them. Andy rested his hands on his hips in an attempt to seem relaxed. It made Haley realize nothing had changed, no matter what she felt, he was still with Beth. She backed away from him, this time careful where she set her heels down. "Thanks, Andy. I think I'll be fine now. I really do have to run."

She turned, hoping he hadn't seen the pained expression flash across her face. This whole thing would be so much easier if she didn't miss him so damn much. Why'd she have to go and fall for her best friend?

"Haley?"

She turned to face him, several yards in front of him now. His hands were shoved down in his pockets, shoulders slumped slightly forward. He opened his mouth to answer her but after a few seconds all he could manage was, "Nice seeing you."

She nodded, ducking into the boutique to hide the tears welling in her eyes.


End file.
